Saturday, September 25, 2010

can't help but smile to see this

look what i found! (when you're on the new page, scroll down to the bottom)

in case you're wonderin what the big deal's the 7-letter word following our name. i hadn't seen it until just a few minutes ago. even in the midst of such an emotional ride, seein this immediately swept a wave of anticipation through me.

and as it turns out, the pink shirt i wore the day we met the birthmother was an omen... yep :) if everything works out, we'll be bringin a sweet little girl home in december.

Friday, September 24, 2010

book review

i hope to have some time this weekend to catch up on the 'ol bloggin....the last month has been crazy nuts w/school and work and life. i thought i'd start w/a quick book review...especially for anyone who might be in the adoption process themselves.

first, the book i haven't read :) "adoption parenting: creating a toolbox, building connections" by jean macleod and sheena macrae, phd. sounds like a riveting experience, doesn't it? as is evident by the title, this isn't a book designed to be read while cuddled up in a chair on a rainy day. it's a guide, a helpful and informational book about the nuts-and-bolts of the adoption process...learnin to be parents to children to whom you didn't give birth. some have described it as the "what to expect when you're expecting" equivalent for those of us whose hips aren't shifting. i think this will be a helpful source for both the days and the years ahead.

"secret thoughts of an adoptive mother" by jana wolff. have you read any of anne lamott's hilarious and heart-wrenching memoirs? if not, you should. if you have, this author is like the anne lamott of adoptive parents. i took the book along to my last ob/gyn appointment...which seemed like a bittersweet fit. i sat in the waiting room w/all sorts of pregnancy magazines spread across the tables and read about 1/3 of this woman's honest telling of the awkward and unnatural and rewarding journey we call adoption. i couldn't decide if i wanted to laugh or i just kept readin. i read until i reached the chapter on the hospital experience, and i sensed the need to close the book. i haven't thought much about the hospital deal yet...and i don't think lookin or feelin that far ahead is the grandest of ideas, so i'll wait. for now, i can't not leave yall w/o a taste of this consoling gift:

"my mother tells me that, as a little girl, i used to give birth to my doll kate several times a day as i let her fall out from under my t-shirt. careful to support the baby's head, i'd pick her up and stick a little plastic bottled filled w/pretend juice or milk to her lips. i was a very good mother. thirty-something years later, i realize that delivering kate was the closest i ever got to giving birth. many little girls play 'mommy' just like i did, but none of us dreams of becoming an adoptive mother. adoption is not in the repertoire of child's play. it is nothing to which children aspire and a process for which we, as adults, are woefully unprepared" (p.17).

onto the children's books...we shot 2/3, which isn't too bad. i've been sorely disappointed in the unavailability of adoption-related children's books in local stores, even chain stores have had either one or none to look at. i knew buyin any children's book online was gonna be risky since i couldn't read every word, look at every illustration....

"little miss spider" by david kirk was the disappointment of the three. it's a cute book, and the illustrations are wonderful. this book was not written w/the idea of adoption guiding its storyline, so you can't really fault the author. some of the reviews i read said that it was a great story about a baby spider finding a mama in a non-spider bug...which is exactly what happens in the end. however, the book begins under the premise that the baby spider's biological mother has abandoned her and her un-presence in baby spider's current life is evidence of her unwillingness to look for her. that's simply not true of most adopted children....birthparents most often realize they cannot provide for the child (financially, emotionally, relationally) as he/she deserves, so they place the baby into the arms of someone who can. whether our sweet little baby would ever read this book and connect it to abandonment, i don't know....nonetheless, this one will probably be shelved or sold.

"God found us you" by lisa bergren is exactly what it sounds like...only told through the eyes and hearts of a mama fox and her adopted baby fox. baby fox asks "mama, tell me again about the day i came home." mama fox gently tells baby fox about waitin for a long, long time for him...and how when baby fox finally came home to mama fox, mama knew that she knew that she knew that God had found baby fox just for her. "little fox smiled and then thought for a moment. 'mama, will you be my forever mama?' 'always and forever...(and) i will always celebrate the day that God found us you.'" it is the sweetest book. i can see this one turnin into the book w/wrinkled pages and turned corners and some supper-stain on page 13.

finally, jamie lee curtis' "tell me again about the night i was born." this is a really popular book, written by the famous adoptive mother...and as it turns out, it's really good. it's told from the perspective of the adopted child. every page asks a question that begins with "tell me again about...." as the kid asks about the night the phone rang, the day the mama and daddy held her in their arms, the first time her diaper was changed, the first time the mama sang to her... i think it's written pretty the voice of a child...but the child's using words that she's obviously heard from her parents - "tell me again how you carried me like a china doll all the way home and how you glared at anyone who sneezed." it's a short, honest, funny, sweet telling of those momentous happenings...some of them known only by adoptive parents...and some known by all first-time parents.

and there you have it. my opinion. just what you were lookin for today :)