Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Popsicles and Oil Changes...

Before I start, this is Josh.  I tend to write a little different than my wife.  I am not articulate, or grammatically correct.  I tend to place commas at random, and all the while it reads perfect to me.  So please be patient, and realize my gifts are with my hands not my words (as is lens' gift.)

So onto the excitement. I have been really sick the last couple of days so I haven't gone to work.  Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I am a slacker.  So I was feeling a little better yesterday so we decided we would start this whole process of talking to some people to get the ball rolling on the whole adoption thing.  So lens called a lawyer and an agency and scheduled times for us to go and meet with them.  Sounded like a great idea, hear both options in one afternoon......so we thought.

I can't even begin to tell you the difference in feelings that were produced during these two meetings.  We were at the agency for about one and a half hours, and at the lawyers for about an hour.  Neither one felt horribly wrong, or distinctly better than the other, just different.  To me it was the difference between popsicles and oil changes.  In other words, two opposite ends of a very good spectrum.  Neither end being worse or better than the other.  Both ends provided options for great situations.  Situations that could allow me to be a.......daddy.

Unfortunately it would have made us feel better if we could have walked into one situation and felt creepy or horrible.  That would help us along with a decision.  But this is a process after all.  I was wanting it to be like choosing a tool, or a gun....do your research and go feel them out and just do it.  Well.....not quite that easy.  Lens compared the two meeting to buying a car, and going to the lot and one salesman showing you a car, and the other one showing you a truck.  Both are good, just so very different.

For lack of space and time, I won't go into very specific details.  The agency we met with is called Special Delivery Adoptions.  Some of the things we liked:  They have a fixed preset price (no matter what happens), they were really nice and sweet, they really care to look after the birthmother.  Some of the things we didn't like:  Expensive (or at least in our terms), this agency didn't have a lot of experience (only 11 placements so far), and they require that you go to church and sign a statement of faith (for those of you that know me, this was a negative for me).

The lawyer we met with was really nice and didn't come across as a lawyer (no offense minnie, i love you).  He was reassuring and straight forward.  Some of the things we liked:  It is more affordable, allows more contact with the birth mother, and just less confusing trails of "who meets who" and "who tells who", it would allow us to choose the birth mother.  Some of the things we didn't like:  It requires us to find that mother (with me being gone, that scares me), it could put us at risk to fraud from someone who wants to take advantage of us.

Well, my wrists are about to fall off, I am so glad that you all are reading along with us.  I will get on later and write some about being a Warden.  Till then....



2 comments:

Mendi said...

No offense Mac.... I am so glad to be on this journey with you both.

By the way I am sorry you are sick! Everyone that came into contact with my boys while they were gone has ended up sick.... SORRY! Eat some popsicles!

Marcy Faye Hallden said...

I know it gets overwhelming. Everytime we start to look into the process I walk away feeling totally defeated! I am SO praying for you guys, Josh! I know your sister wants you guys to have a baby so bad it hurts!