returns

it seems as if returns have been the theme around here the last few days....

the first return
the sonogram pictures have been returned to the birthmother....as have the pictures of her family she gave us the first time we met...we hope she is well and surrounded by people who will love and support her with the birth of her baby boy in a few weeks.

though the boxin up of these things, writin the note, and goin to the post office weren't enjoyable, it was good to find some finality in it all. our hearts aren't sealed w/hope yet....but in the few days since the post office, we've had good conversations and been able to keep movin forward.

the second return
a few days ago, we began again the process of findin an adoption agency. we've dabbled in this process here and there the last year and a half or so... i think our attitude was a little different then, though. i think those months were filled w/a lingering sense of "if we just wait long enough, we'll get pregnant...." so the websites we read and the conversations we had were mostly informational....our minds could only walk around the edges of this land called 'adoption'....while our hearts' attentions stayed turned toward pregnancy.

but now, things are different. we're different, i think. life has changed and kept movin....and we've done what we've known to do to keep up.

as best we know, keepin up today means findin an adoption agency... so we've looked at websites, emailed a couple friends, and contacted about 1/2 dozen agencies. we've heard back from most of them and are tryin to sift through all the relevant details in order to decide which agency we want to commit to. if you're interested and have some spare time, here are the websites of some of the agencies we've contacted:

http://www.specialdeliveryadoptions.org
http://www.livalt.org
http://www.adoptioncovenant.org/
http://www.inheritanceadoptions.org/
http://adoptionsbygladney.com/index.html

one day at a time...exchanging emails w/these agencies....and siftin thru the details, the processes, and the ways our hearts and spirits respond...

at the moment, we have one pre-application questionnaire and one application sittin on our dinin room table....and another application in pdf format saved in the computer.... all blank...mostly b/c completing any of them will involve a fairly significant investment of our time and our trembling hearts.... hopefully the next few days will bring some answers to the questions we've asked these agencies, and we can decide which application/questionnaire we want to complete.

deep breath.... and join nemo...."just keep swimming....just keep swimming..."