what?

two blogs in one day? definitely a first....probably a last.

but at the moment, i'm sittin here, wonderin if i answered my questions "correctly." how do you answer adoption application questions "correctly" anyway? it's not a job application...but it's not a counseling session either....

questions like...."how did your parents influence your life?" WHAT? they're my parents, for cryin out loud! the question's probably not directed toward their genetic influence....but seriously....i doubt there are many places (if any at all) that haven't been in some way influenced by mama and daddy....for better or worse....so i talked very generally about mama's honesty and daddy's work ethic and how laughter sailed us all thru many a storm. but hours later, now i'm wonderin...would it have been more parental-sounding to talk about their determination to not live in debt, how they taught me financial responsibility? would it be better to sound explicitly grateful and talk about how they bent over backwards to send me to countless camps, traveled to all my games and tournaments, and how they scraped by for years so that my college would be paid for? what about the smaller things...like how i sit on a couch just like mama and grandma do...how i tend to use somethin until it's completely worn out like daddy... or maybe how i hope our family shares regular meals at a table rather than in the livin room like we did growin up? i think a better question would be "how have your parents NOT influenced your life?"

how about this one: "what are three of your strengths and why?" again....seriously? when i apply for a nursing job, this is easy....organization, attention to detail, treating patients as people... but....this isn't really a job application. so what kinds of strengths are we talkin about here? office-oriented? career-focused? emotional strengths? spiritual gifts? my strengths as a wife? friend? daughter? sister? aaaahhhh.... of course, bein a parent (i think) will be all of this together and none of it at all... so....that still leaves me w/three blank lines.....

as a mother, i hope to let my kids be who they are...to be gracious and wise....playful and safe...hopeful and enduring and tender.... to give them beautiful love and wild laughter....

but not everyone appreciates that kind of language....sometimes folks just want the nuts-and-bolts answers....those tend to be safer answers somehow....

so i don't know...my questions are answered...and probably, i shouldn't worry about them...i could go back 12 times and change my answers and still wonder if my answers are "correct."

how do you apply for adoption? how do you apply to become a parent? such a strange place....